


Guilt of the Lonely Woman

by carriejack03



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Implied Relationships, Mental Link, Mentioned Past Companions (Doctor Who), Survivor Guilt, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:47:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22899748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carriejack03/pseuds/carriejack03
Summary: The Doctor is alone with her thoughts. The Master contacts her.They can only end up arguing.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 79





	Guilt of the Lonely Woman

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo I've recently caught up with Doctor Who after years of not watching it and... I love the current Doctor and Master, I feel like they have a lot of chemestry! (that's why I can't wait for the season finale)
> 
> I wrote this as a warmup since it has been a while since I've written anything, hope you like it!

It was dangerous for her to stay alone, she wasn’t afraid of the loneliness but she couldn’t bare the thoughts that began to swirl around her head where there was no one to talk to, no one to distract her and make her laugh. It was maddening, staying with her knowledge of thousands of years, her regrets, the guilt of her lost companions… sometimes it was too much for her.

_ Please don’t travel alone, Doctor. _

Someone once told her that. Who was it? One of her companions maybe? She couldn’t remember very well, since transforming into a woman some of her memories had become duller in her mind, but she desperately clunged to that memory-

“ _ Oh _ .” Her lips parted in surprise, a soft sound coming out of them. A flash of red hair came in front of her eyes, kind eyes and gentle smile while a crushing guilt settled in her hearts. Of course, how could she forget? Sweet, sweet Donna Noble, she didn’t stay much at her - or should she say his? - side, but she was one of her most memorable companions.

The Doctor closed her eyes trying to push away the memories that were flowing inside of her brain. They had been joyful, once, but now they were only full of pain.

Something nagged in her mind, the Doctor closed her eyes wondering what it was, but secretly glad of the distraction from her ugly thoughts.

It took her a moment to realize what it was.

She gritted her teeth, her eyes shining in an anger that didn’t belong on her face and tapped her fingers on the surface of the Tardis.

_ One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. _

She counted in her mind as her thumb followed that familiar, personal code. The Doctor knew she could avoid to answer, close her eyes tightly until it passed but… did she really want to be alone right now? Was she really so weak minded?

_ Contact. _

Apparently, she was.

“ _ Doctor! _ ” The Master’s voice rang in her ears, his joyful tone hiding the cruelty she knew he was capable of. “ _ I heard you called my name. _ ”

“I did?” The Doctor frowned, her eyebrows furrowed at top of her forehead. It took her a few seconds before realization dawned on her. She wasn’t amused, the Master was.

“You aren’t O.” She spat out the words like they burned her throat like acid. “You’ve killed him for your amusement, don’t you dare call yourself-”

“ _ Alright, alright, alright! _ ” The Master cut her off before she could finish her threat. He almost sounded bored, but she knew he was laughing. “ _ I’m sorry for killing your… friend? Partner? Whatever. _ ”

“You don’t sound sorry at all.” The Doctor sat down on one of the chair, pressing her back against the soft cushion that was there. She would never admit it but she had missed their bickerings.

“ _ Neither do you, seeing how quick you change pets. _ ” The Master said casually and she could almost picture his expression while he boredly looked at his nails. “ _ Where are your last ones? Clara? Or Bill was it? Your old reincarnation had a nice taste I have to admit that, they were pretty little things to keep around, weren’t they? But they are gone now too, they  _ **_left_ ** _ you _ .”

The Doctor’s fingers trembled in rage and pain. Scratch her previous thoughts, she hadn’t missed this at all, how the Master could toy with her like it was nothing. It infuriated her, turned her loneliness in an ugly emotion she had thought she had buried with her last reincarnation. This terrifying rage that could consume her in two heartbeats.

“Bill died because of  _ you _ .” The Doctor reminded him, a flash of her precious companion being shot through the chest made her cringe. Oh, how hard she had tried to cancel that memory. But it was still better than what came after that. The Cyberman, Missy, the  _ Master _ .

“ _ But you killed Clara _ .” The Master’s voice snapped her out her thoughts and she didn’t like how much truth was there. “ _ I don’t know how and frankly I don’t even care, but don’t try to place the blame of her death on me. _ ”

He was right, she knew he was, and that infuriated her.

The Master sighed loudly, his low voice resounding in her head, pushing away all her other thoughts. “ _ I didn’t want our conversation to be like this… anyway! _ ” He returned cheerful and she was sure a large smile was covering his face. “ _ My point was another: all your pets left you - and your current pets will too, we both know it - but I’ve always been there, haven’t I? Since the beginning, I’ve always been with you.” _

The Doctor opened her eyes, conflicting emotions clear in her irids. It was true. Even if he tried to kill her, multiple times, he was the only one who came back, he had almost seen all of her regenerations just like she did with his. They were constants for each other since the beginning of the times.

“Is this your twisted declaration of love?” The Doctor finally asked, her tongue falling from her mouth to lick her upper lip slowly, tasting the nervous sweat that had formed there.

“ _ Oh, love- _ ” The Master dramatically paused drumming his fingers four times on the surface on what she thought was a mechanic table. “ _ -we are way, way past those, aren’t we? _ ”

The Doctor abruptly stood up, cutting off their telepathic conversation. She was sure the Master was laughing at her now, amused by the fact she could be relied up so quickly.

She didn’t know why she had accept his call so easily, maybe it was because he was right deep down, she was lonely with her guilt and he was the only person who had always stayed. Maybe that was why they always found each other, one way or another.

The Doctor looked at her reflection on Tardis’s screen. She was a mess, black bags under her eyes, unkept hair that went where they wanted and bloody lips for how much had chewed them. But her eyes, oh her eyes were marvellous. So full of life, so  _ angry. _ And it was all because of a little chat with the Master. How ironic.

The Doctor took a deep breath, her eyes dropping on the clock. It was already time to find her companions, she knew it was going to be another adventure, she would forget her conversation with the Master until she was alone again, until he reached for her again or vice versa.

It was only a matter of time.

And they both had plenty to spare.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are appreciated!
> 
> @carriejack03 on twitter!


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